(Please read the article fully before you get mad and start typing in the comments section)
As you celebrate the women in your life, maybe this year you can do more than just wish them. We aren’t asking for much, really. Just some understanding. There are so many terms thrown around on social media, television and everywhere else as to what ‘feminism’ is. Here’s the Oxford Dictionary’s definition:
The advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.
Whatever else you hear is just other people’s understandings and portrayals of what they ‘think’ it means. This is from both men and women. There are people who are under the impression that feminism is somehow about women being treated better than men or above men. That is not true, at all. A true feminist would want equality. At the same time, men need to realise that to be equal, women have to first rise to the position that men are in. There can’t be any equality without that. A lot of people assume that ‘rise’ implies ‘above’. That is not always necessarily true. It is also possible to rise ‘to’ rather than ‘above’. On that note, here are some misconceptions that a lot of men have about women and what they want.
Women want to be above men
There probably are women who think like this. No denying that are extremists everywhere. Let’s ignore the extremists and consider that a lot of women just want what is fair and right. Most women just want to be treated equally to men. A woman should be able to work, have a career, dress however she likes and not be treated like she’s the mud off of someone’s shoe. While today, in a lot of places, women work and dress how they want to, they are still judged and ridiculed for it. Men, how would you like it if you were told that you could not wear shorts. Or when you did, you were stared at, like a piece of meat. The next time you think that your daughter or wife or sister MUST do a certain thing or NOT wear a certain garment, think of how you’d feel if someone controlled you. ( Also to the gawkers in public places, the next time you see an attractive woman, remember that she is a person with feelings.)
Women want ALL your money
Again, there are women who are gold diggers. But it is not fair that all women get painted with the same brush. There are a lot of secure, independent women who want someone who can take care of himself. They don’t want your money. They just need to know that you have some drive and that you can be an equal partner in this relationship. That being said, if you expect your wife to sit at home, you cannot complain about having to support her. Yes, again, there are women who will spend all your money. There are also men who beat their wives. Yet, no one would ever say that ALL men beat their wives.
Women are ALWAYS jealous
The point to be made here is that everyone, no matter the gender, is jealous sometimes. Sure, you will bring up your crazy jealous ex but she is one person. Women aren’t jealous of every friend of yours who is a girl. They understand that men and women can be friends, just like you do. (Something that society cannot understand). As long as that woman isn’t always attached to your arm like glue or falls over you every time she sees you, there will be no problem. (Unless, you ARE, in fact, a lying, cheating pig)
Women don’t like meninists
This is not true. Women HATE meninists. Men like that try to get attention away from real problems. They go on women-hating rants and under the banner of equality, want women to stay below them. While there are men’s issues at stake, you need to realise that the patriarchy harms you too with idiotic stereotypes. You want to do away with these stereotypes yet you don’t want women to be stereotype-free. Dressing as an ATM and protesting against your wife is not going to help anyone. Instead, teach your children to be open-minded and fair and most importantly, treat the women in your life like equals.
In conclusion, no matter what you were told, we are all equal. How people are treated and expect to be treated is something else altogether. These ideals and rules that society has us all bound by are ridiculous. The minute you feel like controlling someone, walk around for a minute in their high heels (or ballet flats would be safer) and then decide. And for the last time, feminism is not about women being better than men. FEMINISM IS ABOUT EQUALITY. Understanding this is the best gift you could give the women in your life.
P.S. The use of ‘men’ and ‘women’ in this article are not meant as generalizations. They are used to describe certain ways of thinking that are unfortunately prevalent.